Saturday, June 20, 2015

Words of wisdom challenge

Tombow USA is holding a giveaway for some lovely pens that I have had my eye on for quite some time. They have challenged people to jot down words of wisdom to enter. So, below is my attempt at words of wisdom for the perfectionists out there (or maybe it is just for my special breed of perfectionism.)

Like I said above...maybe it is just my special breed of perfectionism but I often find myself shying away from things I am really passionate about because I can't do them perfectly. I forget that every single person I see that inspires me has years and years of practice behind them. Not only do they have years of practice but they have about a million mistakes to show as well.

So, these are my words of wisdom to myself and anyone else who might feel the same. Learning is not failing. Mistakes are not failing.

Heres to holding your head high and putting yourself out there for the world to see as you stumble through the learning process of whatever it is you are passionate about.

With love,

Monday, January 19, 2015

Welcoming Isaiah

Before we get too far away from when my little man was born, I want to write down a bit of a birth story so I can always remember what that day was like. This is mostly for myself, but I know some people enjoy reading others birthing experiences. So, if you are one of those people, enjoy my novella (but seriously...its a lot of words). If not, you can always just scroll through and look at the adorable pictures of the sweetest boy in all the land (I tell Isaiah that he is the sweetest boy in all the land on a daily basis while I attack his cheeks with kisses).

Anyone who knows me at all knows that my entire pregnancy I was practically begging for my baby to be born on any day except Christmas. My due date was January 7th which was good enough for me to convince myself that he definitely would not be born on Christmas. In my cranky pregnancy state, I would roll my eyes every time someone told me it would be hilarious to have a Christmas birth because Noah works at a church. I would have to stuff down my strong opinions and just smile every time someone would talk about how it would be ‘the best Christmas gift ever’ if he came on Christmas. So...needless to say, I absolutely did not want a Christmas baby. I wanted him to have his own special day and not have to have a birthday filled with joint presents and combined parties for the rest of his life.

Well Christmas eve I had a doctors appointment and I had been in a bit of pain all day but after the appointment I felt really crummy. We had a family get together and I kept just chalking my not feeling well and mild/irregular cramping and contractions up to the doctors appointment. Everyone else that night apparently was pretty sure I was not feeling well because this baby was going to be coming…and soon.

Sure enough, Christmas morning I wake up at 4am to use the restroom and as I am very gracefully getting rolling out of bed I feel like maybe I had wet my pants. And lets just be honest, when you are that pregnant and using your abdominal muscles, wetting your pants a bit is not entirely out of the question (I know, I know, I am making pregnancy sound so glamorous. You're welcome). However, it kept happening and that is when I figured out that I was not repeatedly wetting my pants but that my water had broken. I was in quite a bit of denial because after all, it was Christmas and I refuse to have a Christmas baby! So there was lots of googling and lots of denial. I finally decided (with lots of convincing from Noah) it was at least time to call the doctor, she told me to come to labor and delivery around 11am to get checked out.

So I slowly got ready, packed up my hospital bag, and we headed to the hospital. Once there, they checked me out and confirmed my water had broken and just like that Christmas plans were done and we were in it for the long haul.

We started making the obligatory phone calls to family and friends letting them know that the day had arrived and our little boy would be here soon (but not really). Noah's mom hopped on the first plane she could catch and my parents came to the hospital to keep us company. My dad also brought me a cinnamon roll. I had made a whole delicious pan of home made cinnamon rolls for Christmas and I was not about to let labor stop me from enjoying one (or three...don't judge)!

I was laboring for a while, contracting on my own and they were increasing in intensity but around 5pm I had not progressed at all (and so I cried) and they hooked me up to Pitocin to help move me along. That stuff is no joke. Up until this point I had not used any sort of pain medication at all but after a while on Pitocin decided it was time to try something for the pain. I did not want an epidural, not because I wanted a ‘natural’ birth but because the idea of a needle going into my spine was absolutely terrifying. 
clearly between contractions....

Anyway, they gave me some other pain medication to try and help take the edge off…but maybe 5 minutes after they gave me that, it felt like my water broke again. this time it was not just a little bit, I felt a sort of pop and a huge rush of fluid (this time I did not mistake it for maybe wetting my pants). I thought I was crazy until I came home and did some googling. Sometimes Google makes you feel a little less crazy. What I found was that often when you just have small amounts of your water coming out that the baby’s head is blocking the rest of it (what I found on google was it being called the fore water and the hind water). Let me tell you, the difference in pain once my water broke for what felt like the second time (the hind water) was absolutely a million times worse than what I had been feeling. Where I had previously been able to breathe through the contractions and maintain control, I now could not focus on anything and was having a lot of trouble controlling my breathing. I went through what felt like hours of these contractions (not sure how long it actually was) before deciding on getting an epidural. I needed to get over my fear for the sake of my sanity. 
I think this was pre epidural...trying to decide if I could muster up the courage to get one.
Here is the thing, I absolutely love that anesthesiologist, but when I was writhing in the worst pain I have ever felt and she was telling me I needed to sit perfectly still while she did this, I wanted to punch her. Somehow by the grace of God I was able to sit still, which is no easy task when the contractions are that strong and coming one on top of the other. But I did it. Somehow between the nurse and Noah helping me breathe through it, I sat still. I also did not punch the anesthesiologist...I think it was a win win for everyone.

Everyone was much happier after that epidural. I was able to rest a bit which was absolutely necessary after being awake since 4am and still not even to the hardest part of the whole labor process. 
much needed rest thanks to that epidural!
the cheering squad (Noah's mom and my dad). But should have heard them during my labor.
It all seems like such a blur between getting the epidural and when they checked me and I was at 10 centimeters and ready to push. It was around 11:30pm or so when they had me try to start pushing. We all figured that the 26th of December is as sucky of a birthday as the 25th so why not aim for the 25th. That thought came a went as my pushing was making progress, but very slow progress. During all this pushing my mom and husband were counting with each contraction for my pushing and I oh so kindly accused them of counting too slowly...labor clearly brings out the best in me.
I had absolutely no idea how long I had been pushing but later came to find out that I had done a solid 2 hours of pushing. Somewhere in the midst of pushing there was mention of assisting me with a vacuum because my kid has a huge head…my stubborn self was not going to let that happen so I dug into the energy reserves to push even harder. When the nurse finally said those wonderful words of asking for the doctor to come in to deliver I was over the moon knowing this was almost over. She asked me to stop pushing, and to everyones amusement I very seriously said ‘I can’t stop pushing, he will go back in!’ Looking back this is clearly not logical and a very silly thing to say, but after you've battled that long you want zero movement in the wrong direction. Go figure, the nurse knew what she was talking about and he didn’t go back in and I soon had my perfect baby boy laying on my chest. 

We loved our wonderful nurse! She was amazing.

Dad admiring his perfect boy!
It was and is the most surreal experience I have had thus far. To finally meet this little human that I have been working so hard to keep healthy and safe inside me is now out in the world and the job of keeping him safe and healthy seems even more daunting. I am so completely in love with this little man and cannot get over his cheeks and the funny faces he makes. I love his little toes and his perfect little lips. Everything about him is perfection to me and I am so proud to be his mom.

One last thought about birth in general, a lot of people talk about having a natural birth and feel really disappointed in themselves when things don’t go as they planned. I did not plan on having an epidural. I was not opposed to it and I did not have a ‘birth plan’. I had ideas of what I wanted but ultimately knew that this whole thing is so unpredictable and things change so quickly. I did not want to have this plan set so rigidly that I felt like I had somehow failed in this birthing process. Let me tell you, no matter how you have that baby, you did not fail. You carried and grew that little one for nine long months, so I don’t care how they come out, you are a bit of a superhero in my book. All of that to say, had I not gotten that epidural I think that I would have absolutely worn myself out just trying to get through those contractions and not had the stamina to push once it was time. I am convinced that Isaiah’s birth story would have been a much different one, probably involving a vacuum or maybe even a c-section, had I not chosen the epidural. I will sing the praises of the epidural as long as I live!

Here are some more pictures from our time in the hospital 

After he had his bath, warming back up with me
snuggles with dad

Our little family going home :)

I hope that this finds you well. We are 3 weeks into this whole parenting thing and so far things have been great. A few rough nights but we are hoping those are the exception and not the rule. 

With love,

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

35 weeks

Well, the countdown is on. 5 weeks until my due date...and it is definitely becoming more and more real by the day. I am counting down the days until I am on maternity leave and get to rest a little more. Other than being tired though, things are pretty darn good over here, so I really can't complain.

I've been terrible about taking pictures of this belly of mine. I am huge though. 

Anyway, enough of my jabbering...all the way back at the end of October my wonderful Mamma and mother in law threw me a baby shower and it was perfection. I thought I would share some pictures of it.

This was in the entry way, we had the classic guess how big around I am game. Some women hate this game...I really don't mind it for whatever reason. How awesome are those circular fans in the window? I loved them!

My mom pulled out all the stops with decorating for the shower. It was so much fun to walk around the house and see little details she thought of. All the little shoes in the pictures above were mine when I was little, that was fun to see. The bassinet has been passed down through our family and all the names of who has slept in it is written under the mattress, it's fun to know another name will be added very soon! My mom also put together that display on the wall of clothes, some of which were mine or hers when we were little, others are just vintage shirts she has collected for this little guy.  

One of my favorite parts of the shower was having the guests paint a letter of the alphabet for an alphabet wall! I wasn't able to get a picture of all of them, but you get the general idea. It is so great to see all the different colors and styles. I can't wait to see them all hung up on a wall.

Anyway, thats a lot of words....but incase you want to read more about whats going on in week 35, here is an update...and to appease the people, a picture of my belly (although it was from halloween so only 30 weeks)

How far along:  35 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Coconut  
Showing: Definitely 
Gender: It’s a boy!
Maternity clothes: For sure. I can get away with some tops that aren’t still, but maternity tops are way more comfortable at this point.
Belly button in or out: still in, but on the brink of popping out.
Symptoms: So tired. All. The. Time.
Sleep: I wake up a lot just because I am uncomfortable…it’s making work tough.
Cravings: Peanut butter puffins! I refuse to admit how quickly I have gone through boxes of this cereal… 
Queasy or sick: Not at all.  
Best moment this week: Nothing great stands out, but he is always really active in there and I always love that….even when he kicks me in the ribs :)
Worst moment this week: Nothing too scary this week. We had a scary moment a couple weeks ago where he had not been moving and had to go into labor and delivery to be monitored. Of course as soon as we got there and that strapped the monitors to me he started kicking away. We are so thankful he is a-ok!
Miss anything: Sleeping normally, not having heart burn all the time, my normal clothes…there are many things I am missing these days.
Movement: Definitely. He is super active in there. I love it.
Looking forward to: Being on maternity leave and having more time to get our apartment ready for him.

I hope this finds you well.

With love,

Thursday, October 23, 2014

28 (and kind of 29) Weeks

We are just going to swiftly move past the fact that I have not posted and update since week 24. So, here I am at 29 weeks...tying my shoes and keeping my toes looking decent is becoming more difficult by the day. Someone please convince my husband that this is reason enough to get a pedicure on a regular basis!

Anyway, life is pretty good these days. The general stress that comes along with having a kid hits me every now and again...especially as my due date slowly creeps up on me. I mean seriously guys, I only have 11 more weeks until he is due to arrive! That just seems insane. I figure that ready or not, he is coming so I better just get it together and remember that we have amazing support systems ready to help us as we stumble through figuring out what it means to be parents.

So, this is kind of a combined post I suppose...a picture from week 28 but all the info from week 29. This picture also happened to be the same night the Giants clinched their ticket to the World Series!!

How far along:  29 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Acorn squash  
Showing: Definitely 
Gender: It’s a boy :)
Maternity clothes: Definitely pants and I am in serious need of some shirts..I am stretching out all of my normal ones!
Belly button in or out: still in.
Symptoms: A bit of swelling in my hands and feet and I am definitely starting to feel the extra weight in my knees, hips and lower back. Over all though, I feel like I have been really fortunate and can't really complain.
Sleep: Not the best, but also not the worst. 
Cravings: I do not like eggs for the most part but for whatever reason, over the weekend I could not get enough of hardboiled eggs! 
Queasy or sick: Not at all.  
Best moment this week: I love seeing him move and getting to know when he is most awake and active.
Worst moment this week: Nothing really this week, we had a scary moment with him in week 27 where I had not felt him move for a decent amount of time. Luckily he finally moved and has been just fine ever since.
Miss anything: My normal clothes
Movement: Definitely. He moves a lot when I am lying on my side trying to sleep!

Looking forward to: Meeting this little dude. But since that is still far away, I am excited for my 34 week appointment and getting to see him on the ultrasound again. 

I hope this finds you well!

with love,

Monday, September 22, 2014

24 weeks in Kauai

Today was the first day back to work since last Friday! What a wonderful break we had from our day to day lives while we were in Kauai. I'm not even sure I should admit how many slices of pie I had (if you are ever in Kauai go to The Right slice!!) or how many iced vanilla chais I consumed (Go to Hanalei coffee roasters and drink this, you may want to also have their waffles in the good!)

So as you can see, Kauai was a great time for me to eat my way around the was a little depressing stepping on the scale at my 24 week appointment today. Oh well, we are back to our normal boring (aka healthy) eating now.

So, here are some pictures from our trip and a little 24 week update too :)

You can't go to Kauai and not get shave ice (and yes, it still kills me every time to say or type shave ice instead of shaved ice...). They sure know how to make one monstrous dome of ice!

One of our favorite things we did all week was go to Queens Bath! There was a lovely little trail down to it and while we were trying to take a picture with the GoPro the below picture might be the best worst picture ever. We think it is absolutely hilarious. (hello belly!)

The above picture was when we were actually in Queens Bath looking at the little fish that made their way into it and the below picture is just of Queens bath and the amazing view you have from it. The go pro was a bit fogged up but I love this picture anyway.

We went mini golfing at a place that doubles as a botanical garden. It was so hot by that 18th hole I did not care anymore about the plant life. I don't do pregnant and humid well ;)

Probably one of the best things we did was go on a helicopter tour. Seeing the Na Pali coast was absolutely stunning from up there!

Did I mention the pie? Because let me tell you, this stuff is what dreams are made of. The cheesecake was to die for as was the little cherry number on the bottom of the picture...can we just say buttery macadamia nut crumb topping? I do not think it gets any better. If anyone is wondering what to get me for christmas, they ship their pies to the main land for only $ big deal.

Lastly, one of our favorite things to do is stand up paddle board so we did that for a couple hours one day. It was all fun and games going up the river with the wind at our back. Coming back was a bit more work than I wanted to do on vacation...but it was still fun and gave me an excuse to eat more pie ;)

So, not my typical belly picture with the sign and normal clothes...but check out that belly! That is a 24 week belly right there. He is still growing and moving around more every day.

How far along:  24 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Cantaloupe 
Showing: Definitely 
Gender: It’s a boy!
Maternity clothes: Only bottoms….although some shirts are getting a little short.
Belly button in or out: still in.
Symptoms: Nothing too crazy, just some swelling in my hands and feet
Sleep: Not the best, but also not the worst. 
Cravings: Nothing that really stands out…when we were in Kauai there was a cheesecake and vanilla chai that I could not get enough of!
Queasy or sick: Not at all.  
Best moment this week: Not only being able to feel him move but starting to see him move around too! He has been super active lately.
Worst moment this week: Nothing really. Things are going really smoothly with this little one and I am incredibly thankful for that.
Miss anything: This week there isn't much that I am missing…things are pretty darn good.
Movement: Yes! He has been really active and I love it!
Looking forward to: Being able to see more movement.

I hope this finds you well

With love, 

Monday, September 1, 2014

21 weeks!

Well, here we are, a little over half way through! In honor of that, I went out and bought none other than some Ben and Jerry's...half baked of course (because our little one is half baked...get it?) ;)

Here is the belly picture of me at 21 weeks. Definitely getting bigger!

How far along:  21 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Pomegranate!
Showing: Definitely 
Gender: It’s a boy!!
Maternity clothes: Only bottoms….although some shirts are getting a little short.
Belly button in or out: still in.
Symptoms: Some definite round ligament pain (ouch!), hand and foot swelling and some lower back pain. Over all though, it is hard to complain…so far this pregnancy has been pretty easy on me and I am very thankful.
Sleep: Not the best, but I know that it only gets worse so I am trying to keep perspective.
Cravings: Freebirds burritos!!!
Queasy or sick: Not at all.  
Best moment this week: When our little boy decided to have a party in my belly and Noah was able to feel him move around for the first time! He has also learned to do a little tap dance on my bladder.
Worst moment this week: Some of the round ligament pain was pretty bad, it was tough being at work with it.
Miss anything: I could really go for a margarita….but that will have to wait a while longer.
Movement: Yes! He is still small so it isn’t super consistent yet and that makes me mad haha but when he does move it is the coolest thing and brings me instant joy.
Looking forward to: Him continuing to be healthy and just growing! I'm excited for more consistent movement too.

And incase you had not seen, this was the day we found out that we are in fact having a boy!

We plan on bringing him home in that little outfit. We are hoping he fits haha! Noah and I were both little butterballs when we were born (8lbs 8oz and 8lbs 6oz). We are so thrilled to get to know this little human and we cannot wait until January! 

I hope this finds you well on this beautiful Labor day!

With love,

Sunday, August 10, 2014

18 Week update!

It is so odd to think that in just a couple weeks I will be halfway through being pregnant (that is, if the baby comes out at 40 weeks and doesn't get too comfortable in there!) I feel like this week and the next one will be weeks with some fun milestones (getting to feel the baby move and finding out what we are having). We are so over the moon about this little one and the next big thing we are looking forward to is Noah being able to feel the baby move too...hopefully that comes soon :) 

How far along:  18 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Sweet Potato!
Showing: Same as the last update…showing for those that know me but no brave strangers yet :)
Gender: We will find out in 6 days! We have everything we need for our little reveal and we cannot wait to find out!
Maternity clothes:  For the most part, yes. I have some jeans I can get away with putting the belly band on still…but I have a feeling those days will be over soon.
Belly button in or out: In.
Symptoms: Some pain from everything stretching, but nothing too crazy yet. I have been really tired again too, I think all of baby’s growing is making me tired!
Sleep: Still been ok, wake up to adjust in bed and go to the bathroom more than I used to.
Cravings: Nothing too specific…this week all I wanted was an iced chai from a coffee shop by us.
Queasy or sick: I think that is all behind me now…
Best moment this week: Feeling baby move for the first time! So incredibly exciting!
Worst moment this week: It is just tough at work when I am feeling so tired.
Miss anything: We were at a party last night and I do miss being able to have some wine or a margarita at those events.
Movement: Yes!!! Finally!

Looking forward to: Knowing what we are having and Noah being able to feel this little gem move too!

Well, that is all...but I will leave you with this lovely blooper picture haha. I was so tired today! I definitely took a nap right after this :)

Have a great week!

With Love,